when someone started to stop loving you
suddenly how can you say you stop loving me?
I remember the way you stare at me. when I confessed my feeling I remember you smiling and looking nervous. we have spent our best and worst times together .how can you make me believe you have to stop loving me?
For me, you are the only one who shines in the crowd. you are the only one I am searching for in the crowd. I have seen you looking for me as well. I thought I know you love me but ….
what change do you think happen to me that you are feeling this way? did I do something wrong with you? I know I always want you to say to me whatever is in your heart but I never thought you opening your heart will crush my heart.
we two have confessed to being together till the end so what changed now?
Am I the only one that is making the future with us in my head? when you are trying to say let’s end our thing.
I never know why it is easy for you to say it is not working out. is feeling doesn’t matter? if we want, can’t we work out together? I feel like a fool waiting for you the whole night wishing maybe you will come back. Maybe it is because you are confused now. the thing is I am confused. I am overly sure of you.
you never say you will come back .you are very clear about not loving me. you are very clear about wanting different things. I beg you but you say it is best for both of us. I know it also has hurt you but still, I am having a hard time to think life without you.
I kept longing for you but you didn’t come. it has been a while since this happen. Now I know you won’t come. I became tired of waiting for you and got my answer in your absence.
the thing is, whatever happens, kept bothering me. time is healing the feeling but time is also making me fearful of love. I don’t know if I have given enough time to me overcome this but I still am fearful of the love that I lived.
it has been a time since I know I should move on. but the thought I might get hurt just stops me from opening up. I feel like I am not doing right to that person so I stop myself from getting into any relationship. I am now very conscious of everything which makes me feel like I am doing hard work for love which is not what I want in my life.
with you it was easy. I never feel like I am doing work for our relationship. maybe you feel like you are doing so much in our relationship. now I am trying to understand you from your perspective maybe it is good that we end up.
But still, I get mad at you for not loving me enough to work out with me.
I want you to work with me but you choose to leave me. it’s ok I am not saying you have to love me or be with me without love. I am angry because you know from the start you don’t have that kind of feeling for me and you are experimenting with me which makes me mad at you. you make me feel deeply for you and you are saying you are not in love with me. I feel suffocated with myself thinking in love with you. why???
ps: I hope you like my writing ( it is something I have been hearing out. so I write about perception in love)
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