how emotion play you

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MY overwhelmed emotion

Photo by Fa Barboza on Unsplash

I always plan in my head. I will always do this and that in that kind of situation. But I can’t act out the same in any kind of situation.

Yesterday one lady is arguing with my mom. They two are both arguing with each other but the words another lady is using are so bad. I feel so angry about it but I can’t say a word in front of them. I feel so embarrassed because I can’t be any help to my mom. My heart started to pound with anger when she is using bad words for my mom. After some time I have so many words to say to that lady but it is too late now.

I just can’t fight with people and that is my problem. When anybody started to talk badly I feel angry towards them but replying to them with anger is not possible for me. I will start to cry if that kind of situation arises. I just start to shiver which I hate about myself.

I know how to differentiate between right and wrong. But conveying the message to the rude one is just not possible for me. I don’t want to cry in front of someone who is cursing me so I walk out of the situation. It is not like I don’t know what is right to say in that situation but my emotions and my body act differently than I want them to act.

I know I am not emotionally strong. I feel bad when people think I am walking out because I am at false and I want to tell them I am not wrong but I just couldn’t do it. I feel so helpless but what to do is the way it is. I want to change but it is a long way to go. I am trying little by little but it is difficult to go through the situation so calmly and do it right.

writing has been my great source of relief and the medium to speak my word. I guess that is why I love to write things that came to my mind freely

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